Bitesize Rants #4: The Self-Aggrandisement of Olympic Athletes

Let me preface this rant by saying I'm a big fan of the Olympics as a concept. Amateur sportsmen and women given the opportunity to compete on a large stage is an excellent idea, and one we should be fully behind. I was also against the inclusion of professionals in the competition, like we've seen from football, tennis and now golf in recent years.

However, as the exposure to athletics has become ever more significant, the egos on many of the Olympic athletes seem to have grown larger and larger. From a competition based on demonstrating one's amateur athletic ability for no profit (an admirable accomplishment), Olympic athletes have now become so accustomed to the celebrity and pageantry around the event that they seem to expect this each time, raking in sponsorship money galore (as well as money from the taxpayer to fund what is supposed to be their hobby!).

The tag of the Olympics as the 'Greatest show on Earth' has further heightened this feeling of superiority, and I'll highlight a key example from this year. Over the last few months, fears around the Zika virus have been highlighted as the cause of many pro golfers and tennis players pulling out. Cue widespread backlash from existing Olympic athletes, with names like Louis Smith and Rebecca Adlington mocking their decision and citing this tag of the Olympics being a higher level of competition than anything else.

When you consider the reasons for the withdrawal, it is simply ridiculous. We have all seen the horrific pictures of the impact of the Zika virus, and any athlete that fears for their safety should feel well within their rights to withdraw, regardless of what other athletes feel about the competition!

It’s also not like the Olympics are squeaky clean. Like my previous post on MMA, the Olympics have not been without their own drug scandals. Whether it's Ben Johnson, Linford Christie or the entire Russian team, performance enhancers have been endemic in athletic competition over the past 20 years.

This latter problem is by no means sorted, and athletes should be careful of throwing stones, especially from the greenhouses they currently live in.

My message to the Olympics and Olympians worldwide: put in place a rigorous drug testing and punishment system, go back to wholly amateur competition, and stop inflating the heads of your athletes.

UFC 200: The Rotten Core of MMA

For a sport on the rise, a bit of scandal can sometimes be a good thing. However, if there is anything we have learnt from the Olympics/Russia debacle, allegations of doping from the elite level athletes is certainly not one of them.

So for those of you not familiar (but if you're not, I'm not entirely sure you're reading the right article), the UFC, the dominant mixed martial arts (MMA) promotion in the world, is celebrating its 200th edition with a truly stacked card. WWE and ex-UFC superstar Brock Lesnar is back after a four year hiatus from the MMA world to fight a true knockout artist in Mark Hunt, there are two title fights, as well as the return of Cain Velasquez. That's before we even get to the headliner: the second instalment of a fierce and bitter rivalry between light-heavyweight champ Daniel Cormier and the nominally unbeaten Jon Jones, widely regarded the number one pound for pound fighter in the world.

However, that headliner was rocked earlier today with the announcement that Jones, so outspoken in his condemnation of drug cheats, had failed a pre-fight screening. While the exact substance has not been announced as yet, Jones was unceremoniously dropped from the card, with the Lesnar/Hunt bout promoted to the main event. Cue a tearful Jones in a press conference, sending heartfelt apologies and denying that he was aware of taking anything unlawful.

While many, including myself, will lament the removal of what would in all likelihood have been an incredible fight, this hides an issue that has for so long gone relatively unchecked, and remains a serious problem in the sport. Doping, and more accurately, steroid or hormone abuse, has plagued the sport from its inception, with so many of its most high profile individuals accused, or even convicted, of previous offences. I won't go into detail on all the cases, but below are just a handful of the very top names that have been convicted of doping, with most continuing to fight despite this:

• Anderson Silva - convicted of steroid use in 2015
• Chael Sonnen - convicted of TRT supplement use in 2010 and steroid use in 2014
• Nate Marquardt - convicted of steroid use in 2005 and TRT supplement use in 2011
• Royce Gracie - convicted of steroid use in 2007
• Tim Sylvia - convicted of steroid use in 2003
• Cris 'Cyborg' Santos - convicted of steroid use in 2012
• Alistair Overeem - convicted of TRT supplement use in 2012
• Vitor Belfort - convicted of TRT supplement use in 2006 and 2014
• Josh Barnett - convicted of steroid use in 2002 and 2009
• Ken Shamrock - convicted of three counts of steroid use in 2009
• BJ Penn - convicted of TRT supplement use in 2016

This list is by no means exhaustive, but still includes the two standout fighters from the very first UFC tournament, as well as two UFC heavyweight champions, a UFC light-heavyweight champion, a UFC middleweight champion, a UFC heavyweight title challenger, a UFC light-heavyweight title challenger, three UFC middleweight title challenges, the most dominant female fighter of all time, and the greatest MMA fighter of all time. Hardly slim pickings!

There are also stories of fighters going to great lengths to avoid drug tests, highlighting further instances of guilt. My favourite is Wanderlei Silva, who practically fled the country when a sample collector turned up at his gym!

Bearing in mind that this is a sport in existence since 1993, there has until recently been a worrying lack of emphasis placed on tackling drug abuse by the UFC and the various athletic commissions that have sanctioned the events. This gets worse, however. Following UFC 182, which saw Jones defeat Cormier to retain his title, it emerged that Jones had tested positive for cocaine in a pre-fight test - a fact which was buried by the UFC. Similarly, since Vitor Belfort's UFC 152 title fight with Jones, evidence has been unsurfaced that the UFC knew of the Brazilian's TRT positive test, while it is widely accepted that many of UFC middleweight champion Michael Bisping's UFC losses have come at the hands of people using performance enhancing drugs.

So for those to suggest that this is an isolated incident, or even that UFC fighters are a class above boxers in terms of fair play, is simply idiotic. This is a pandemic. Anything you can use to gain a competitive advantage, people will use, and that includes drugs. For Dana White to suggest that steroid use isn't that bad is at best naive and wishful thinking, and at worse flat out lies. Fighters aren't going to stop taking drugs of their own volition or moral compass, so you have to make them.

Having taken his head out of the sand following those comments over steroids, Dana White unveiled a new partnership with the US Anti Doping Agency (USADA) in July 2015, designed to cut down, and ultimately eliminate the use of performance enhancing drugs in MMA. Some may say 22 years too late, but better late than never, I guess!

As part of the new regulations, athletes must be available for random drug testing up to four months before any fight, at any time in any place. While cheaters will still find some ways around this system, it is about as robust as it is possible to be, and will undoubtedly help the UFC become much more clean.

That is, as long as Zuffa (the company behind the UFC) doesn't put its commercial interests ahead of the sport (ironically something Dana White has accused rival promotions like Strikeforce, Elite XC and Bellator of doing). Having set up these robust rules, the UFC found itself in somewhat of a quandary when global superstar Conor McGregor pulled out of plans for UFC 200 in April. Needing to find a suitable replacement, they turned to the man responsible for the most pay-per-view buys in history: Brock Lesnar. However, a deal for Lesnar to return was not officially in place until 6 June, just one month before the fight date. Or more importantly, three months too late for USADA. What were the UFC to do?

Fortunately, there had been some very careful loopholes put in place for such a scenario. You know, the same kind of loopholes that politicians put in the tax system so they can adequately exploit them to their own advantage. In the event of a retired fighter, who had left the company before the introduction of USADA, rejoining the UFC, a special exemption could be granted to enable them to fight. Seemingly custom-built for Brock Lesnar - is anyone else more than a little suspicious? Now don't get me wrong, I am a massive fan of Brock Lesnar's, and I can't wait to see that fight with Mark Hunt, but it is more important that the integrity of the sport remains unquestionably intact.

Another aspect to USADA that confused me today was the handling of the Jones drug screening that cost us the main event. When the news came out that there was not enough time to re-test the sample that Jones tested positive on, I had assumed that it was taken in the days immediately preceding the fight. It came as a great surprise, then, to find out that the sample had actually been taken on 16 June, nearly a month before the event. How was it that it took so long to reveal it was positive? And if they knew ahead of time, why could we not have retested the sample to check whether the cancellation of the bout was necessary? Everyone makes mistakes, and if it turns out to be a false positive, we may have been robbed of the icing on top of the cake: one of the best main events in the history of the UFC.

This episode enables us to draw some conclusions. Put simply, if you want to make MMA a legitimate sport, and not just a business for profit, you need to eradicate doping. That means removing all loopholes, and imposing an inescapable system of screening. This process should be as transparent as possible, to remove any confusion or doubt, and all test results should be given a publication date and published publicly.

USADA is certainly a step in the right direction, but this must only be the start. There are a number of niggles with the current system, which must be ironed out to ensure fair competition. Finally, in my opinion, a real deterrent has to be put in place to prevent drug cheats, and that means life bans. Obviously, in the case of false positives or legitimate medications (e.g. Bigfoot Silva's gigantism meds), this can be rescinded, but this must be the penalty.

MMA and the UFC will not be fully legitimised, and the incredible athletes at the heart of the sport will not be recognised until we remove the rotten core. The message to Dana White and the Fertitta brothers is simple: it may not be best for your wallet in the short term, but it will be best for the sport in the long.

Bitesize Rants #1: The Respect Campaign and Football Hooliganism

In my day job (I know, can you believe that being a keyboard warrior on inconsequential topics isn't a full-time role?!), I was recently given the task of being more succinct. As some of you may have noticed, I have a tendency to use 10 words when one will do. So, I thought I'd challenge myself in a new segment I've called 'Bitesize Rants'. The premise is simple - the same level of anger and outrage, neatly fit into just 400 words.

The attack made on Manchester United’s team bus before their crucial must win game against West Ham highlights something that we’ve known for some time – football hooliganism is far from dead.

This is not my forum for attacking West Ham fans, as I want to focus on the clearly dramatic impact that the much discussed Respect campaign has had.

As a child watching football, I was all too familiar with the sight of players surrounding and berating the referee, with Roy Keane and Patrick Vieira sticking in my memory as the worst examples. As a teenager, I experienced this first-hand from parents of under-11s games, with some of the abuse received frankly shocking. To combat this, and the continual threat of off-field violence, the FA introduced the Respect campaign, an umbrella for anti-racism and pro-fairness in football. This was also designed to paint football to kids as a friendly and respectful sport, and give them role models they can look up to.

Has it made a difference? Clearly not as much as they’d hope, if Tuesday’s events are anything to go by. It’s certainly true that referees are not as bombarded by people after every decision, but the abuse from both the players and the fans continues to be prevalent at every level. Just read Wayne Rooney’s lips when the camera pans to him, and you’ll learn some new vocabulary you didn’t want! It also sets a worrying double standard, as some offences are punished and others simply aren’t!

It certainly doesn’t help that footballers don’t paint themselves in a good and respectful light as role models for kids. For every Vincent Kompany there is a Joey Barton, and every Claudio Ranieri has a Neil Warnock. The very fact that proven racists Jamie Vardy, Luis Suarez and John Terry are so revered among sections of football fans is alarming, and highlights the scale of the problem remaining.

So while West Ham have reacted quickly to the whole bus incident, the events should act as a warning shot across the bows of the FA. The Respect campaign is not hard-hitting enough, and for the sake of thousands of Sunday League referees across the country, football’s governing body needs to have a rethink. Try coming down hard on every type of disrespect, and not set a loophole for poor role models by letting some players get away with it.

London Marathon 2016: My Weekend

And so, after six months of training, and more than a year of anticipation, it's finally over. Blood, sweat and tears have been shed over this monumental effort - for more on my reasons, take a look at my previous post, which provides an insight into my damaged mind.

Now, having only run one of these things in my life, I am in no position to hand out advice and information to anyone, however, there are a few observations I made that may be of use to future runners. Firstly, if you're fortunate enough not to live in central London, make sure you get a hotel close to the start line. The tube is mental at the best of times, but on the days around the marathon, it gets even more congested. Hotels aren't cheap either, as evidenced by the fact that I managed to get two nights in the Canary Wharf Hilton for less than the local Travelodge!

I went down on the Saturday before the race, giving me little time to register at the ExCel centre. And, as expected, the Saturday was extremely busy. Tubes were once again packed, making getting to the point a real pain. At the centre, you queue to get your race number and electronic tag to measure your race time, before entering the free for all of the exhibition.

My race number

Once inside, there are a couple of pieces of advice I can give. The first, and most important, is it will take longer than you thought, so make sure you have something to eat before you arrive. There is nothing worse for preparation that failing to keep your carbohydrate levels up the day before! In addition, while there is a lot of cool stuff on sale, don't make stupid panic purchases. I bought what Lucozade called their 'marathon pack' for £10, which consisted of two energy drinks, four packs of jelly beans and two energy gels. Now, given that they were handing out both the gels and the drinks like sweets on the day, that perhaps was not the best investment I've ever made.

Race Day
So, it's arrived. And inevitably, the first thing I thought was 'why the hell did I ask to do this?' This feeling doesn't abate until you arrive at Greenwich Park, and see people in a lot worse state that you. For instance, before reaching the start line, I had already seen a man dressed in a giant dinosaur costume and someone with a rocket on his back!

Before you're kettled to the start line, make sure you leave plenty of time to get that last drink in, as well as stretch out properly. As I lay here with muscles aching, I can safely say that despite the strong and often nauseating smell, I wish I had taken some form of warming muscle rub with me and applied before the start - it just makes the opening couple of miles that little bit easier.

So having finally started, 25 minutes after the race officially began, I completely ignored every piece of advice I had received pre-event. Having spent the first two miles jostling for position with the rest of the crowd, I looked at my watch to find I was way behind the time I had initially expected. In this position, the sensible thing to do would be to not worry about it and continue at your own pace. What I did was speed up to try and get back on track. Worst. Decision. Ever.

By 10 miles I was back at my normal time, but in order to do so, I had drained a lot of energy from the tank. As a result, by half distance, I was knackered, and my stomach started to feel empty. Before the race, everyone talked to me about the 'wall' that I would hit, and I had imagined that it would be upon me by mile 20 or so. What I realised on that day is we all have our own personal walls, and just be prepared to hit it and go through it regardless of what time it arrives. In my case, between miles 13 and 19, I struggled painfully. Every mile marker seemed to take forever to come by, and there were more than a few occasions where I simply felt like this wasn't possible (a key one being when I was overtaken by a man dressed as a rhinoceros!).

However, I, as so many others out there, was rescued by one thing: the crowd. It is absolutely true that during the race, every member of the crowd becomes a lifelong friend, cheering your name and encouraging you on. You also have no qualms about taking random bits of food from these people, be it Haribo, oranges or the one guy handing out pasta salad (a bit late, mate!). The crowd can keep you going beyond what you thought was possible, either from the support, or just creating moments that are unforgettable.

A few instantly spring to my mind. Firstly, some of the banners that are held up during the race are genius. There were a few occasions throughout the course where people held out signs with things like 'Power Boost: Touch Here' on them, while one man even went as far to attach a horn and hand out 'free honks' to the runners as we went past.

As I was running for a charity, I was also aware of a number of points that Mind had for cheering on its competitors. However, what I completely underestimated was the sheer number of people that would be at each one, and the effect that about 100 people chanting your name in unison would have as you went past. For both the 13.5 and 25 mile markers, I received a welcome boost, and I want to thank each and every person that turned out to support the team - it was an amazing effort!

There will, however, be one moment that will stay with me for the rest of my life. During one of my most difficult periods, I stumbled upon a man dressed as Jesus, carrying a crucifix along with him. Now, that is impressive enough as it is, but the fact that he was doing it barefoot led me to question his mental health. Nevertheless, the reaction he got from the crowd was justifiably amazing, and for me jogging behind him, to hear thousands of people scream 'Come on Jesus!', in that moment, there was literally nothing funnier. During the event, I also heard 'Come on Elvis', 'Come on Rhino' and 'Come on Postbox', but without a doubt the Messiah made my day.

Also, just a couple of quick points before I get to the end. Firstly, though there are a lot of iconic landmarks around London, and people make the point that the London Marathon is 'a great way to do the touristy bits' - it isn't. I can honestly say I don't remember going past many of the key landmarks - it all blurs into one. I can remember the following, and that is it.

• Cutty Sark
• Tower Bridge
• Canary Wharf
• Big Ben

Also, for those of you watching runners, prepare for your own personal hell. I was told that they closed Tube stations due to the high demand, making it almost impossible to get around the city centre (because that is what all of us up North have been paying for!).

However, after 26 miles of arduous, painstaking effort, enjoy the mall. The run in for me was one of my favourite bits, as I had got myself past the mental challenge and was cruising to the finish. I even managed to sprint the final 200-400 metres! The feeling of that medal around your neck is one of the best you will have, so enjoy it, and be proud of your achievements.

However, as I can tell you from the comfort of my bed, be prepared to cancel any plans you had for the next week, as you will lose the function of your leg muscles!

Thank you to everyone who has supported me through this journey, as it has been a difficult, and at times, emotional, rollercoaster over the last year or so. I have achieved what I set out to - I am now a marathon runner - and I couldn't have done it without you.

Before...

And after!

The prize!

Summer Transfer Window Series: 10 Big Money Flops

With the recent commercialisation of global football, money has rarely been an issue for the largest teams. As a result of this, we've seen a period of valuation inflation when it comes to transfers, with some enormous sums of money flying around. Some of these make my 'Transfers that Shook the World' post, while others sneak under the radar. In addition, sometimes the money is justified by performances (for instance, Ronaldo's £80m doesn't seem too outrageous any more!), while others end up being an enormous waste of money.

But which are the biggest waste of money? And are there any trends that we can see when it comes to clubs and overpaying?

10. Robbie Keane - Tottenham Hotspur to Liverpool (2008, £20.3m)
A great example of a big money transfer dropping under the radar. In 2008, Robbie Keane made the move away from Spurs, a club he'd spent the majority of his career to that point with. Daniel Levy, as he so often does, managed to get an exceptional deal for the North London club, costing Liverpool £20.8m for the Irish international. However, the proven goalscorer proved to not be so prolific in red, waiting 11 games for his first Liverpool goal. He went on to only score five goals in 19 games for the side, though they did manage to recoup much of the fee they paid for the striker when he returned to Spurs just six months later.

9. Angel di Maria - Real Madrid to Manchester United (2014, £59.8m)
Though the Argentine made the back end of my 'Transfers that Shook the World' post, he has failed to make the desired impact. He ends up lower down this list because of the fact that he's only been there a year, and I tend to give players a second season to take effect. However, with it looking increasingly likely that di Maria is on his way out of Old Trafford, the four goals and ten assists provided last season just isn't worth the money paid.

8. Dimitar Berbatov - Tottenham Hotspur to Manchester United (2008, £30m)
Back on that crazy deadline day in Manchester in 2008, it was the £30m signing of Dimitar Berbatov that paled into significance following the Robinho saga across the road. Manchester United, despite the wealth of attacking talent at their disposal, with the likes of Ronaldo, Rooney and Tevez all in form, dipped into their coffers to add another proven Premier League goalscorer. However, the big Bulgarian was always on the periphery, failing to rediscover his form and finding his most successful moments at Old Trafford in the cup competitions.

7. Diego - Werder Bremen to Juventus (2009, £23.8m)
A player who was among my favourites at Werder Bremen in my teenage years, Diego set the Bundesliga alight with his guile, creativity and flair, leaving many of the world's top clubs vying for his signature. Italian giants Juventus won the race, with the Brazilian signing for £23.8m in 2009. However, in 33 games, he managed just 5 goals, and was deemed to be surplus to requirements by the end of the following season, recouping just £12m when he moved back to Germany with Wolfsburg.

6. Mario Balotelli - AC Milan to Liverpool (2014, £15m)
Why always him? The enigmatic Italian had the world at his feet when he broke onto the scene in 2008 at the age of just 17, but his childish attitude garnered him a reputation both in Italy and in Manchester. However, there was no doubting his ability, and Brendan Rodgers looked to have pulled off a masterstroke when he signed Super Mario for just £15m last summer. To be fair to Mario, he certainly had seemed to work harder for his team, and improved his attitude, however, he just didn't have the goals. Mocked repeatedly for failing to score throughout last year, his days look numbered following the arrival of Christian Benteke last week. How much they can get for him remains a mystery.

5. Alberto Aquilani - AS Roma to Liverpool (2009, £17m)
AS Roma's 'Little Prince', seen as the natural successor to club legends Francesco Totti and Daniele De Rossi, made the difficult decision to leave his home town club in 2009, opting for Merseyside in a £17m deal. However, a series of injury problems and inconsistent form limited his opportunities in the team, with the Italian making just 18 appearances over an unsuccessful three year period while making loan moves back to Italy with Juventus and AC Milan, before a permanent free transfer to Fiorentina in 2012.

4. Juan Sebastien Veron - Inter Milan to Manchester United (2001, £28.1m)
The Argentine world beater's £28.1m move in 2001 was a club record transfer at the time, and underlined United's intentions to create their own Galacticos. However, it was not to be. Unlike the Italian game, Veron struggled to get to grips with the speed and physicality of the Premier League, scoring just seven times in 51 appearances for United. Such was his failure, Sir Alex Ferguson, who had publicly defender Veron on numerous occasions during the following season, sold him to Chelsea for a cut-price £15m in 2003.

3. Roque Santa Cruz - Blackburn Rovers to Manchester City (2009, £17.5m)
Very much like the signing of Dimitar Berbatov, Roque Santa Cruz was brought into a Manchester City squad already containing the likes of Carlos Tevez, Emmanuel Adebayor and Robinho. However, even worse, they had signed both Tevez and Adebayor for large sums in the same summer, making the purchase of Santa Cruz even more pointless. Though certainly only bought as Mark Hughes was his manager at Blackburn Rovers, the Paraguayan only managed three goals in an appalling 20 game stay at The Etihad, before being farmed out to Blackburn and Malaga on loan, before moving permanently to the latter in 2013.

2. Kaka - AC Milan to Real Madrid (2009, £55m)
Kaka, arguably the world's best player in the mid-2000s, leading AC Milan almost single-handedly to a Champions League title in 2007, became the first of the new Galacticos signed in 2009, being joined by Cristiano Ronaldo and Karim Benzema. However, he never hit the same heights as he did in Italy, scoring 23 in an injury hit four seasons, which saw the Brazilian make just 85 appearances before rejoining AC Milan.

1. Andriy Shevchenko - AC Milan to Chelsea (2006, £30.8m)
Another world class forward player from AC Milan makes a disastrous move abroad for an astronomical sum - I guess this proves that Silvio Berlusconi got something right, cashing out at the best moment. Ballon d'Or winner Andriy Shevchenko made the move to London in 2006 for £30m, joining up with Jose Mourinho's two-time champions as Roman Abramovic targeted the Champions League title. However, nine goals is not enough for just one season for a top striker, never mind being spread across three years. Every goal scored by the Ukrainian at Chelsea cost over £3m, which everyone would agree is expensive!

So what trends can we see from these ten? Firstly, it seems that for all of his good signings (Vidic, van Nistelrooy and Ronaldo etc.) Alex Ferguson also wasted an awful lot of money, and Louis van Gaal appears set to do the same. In contrast, both AC Milan and Tottenham Hotspur seem good at getting the best deals for their players, in addition to selling them at the right time - just as they go off the boil.

And are we likely to see any big-money flops this summer? Of the transfers already done, it seems unlikely that either Arda Turan or Arturo Vidal will fail to live up to their valuations, while though it pains me to say it, Raheem Sterling may well struggle to meet the £49m valuation placed on him. Similarly, £60m and £70m valuations for Kevin De Bruyne and Paul Pogba also runs the risk of making this list, as they would have to go some to make the deal worthwhile.

Nevertheless, it's worth noting that a high profile failure can have a disastrous impact on a player's career - will Angel di Maria be able to make his seemingly inevitable move to Paris Saint Germain work to be the exception to the rule?